


I Will Not Make A Promise I Can Not Keep

by Trtrtrtr



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 02:02:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14439099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trtrtrtr/pseuds/Trtrtrtr
Summary: The next time he faced Thanos, Thor would make sure the mad man would be deader than dead.And after that, the sun would shine on them, forever.





	I Will Not Make A Promise I Can Not Keep

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS AHEAD T.T I'M SO SORRY.

 

 

After Thanos wiping out half of the humanity, Thor thought he needed a sleep. Waiting for any news from Tony would take time, so he definitely could go for a sleep.

 

His fellow Avengers wondered why he needed it, and every times they asked, he would answer that he just needed it, sometimes he knew how to be tired, too. It was true. He didn’t get a proper rest since the day the purple titan had attacked his ship and killed nearly every people on it. Nearly. The mad man had nearly killed everyone, except for him. He was the only one who had survived the massacre and he had sworn on Odin’s beard that the titan would pay for what he had done.

 

Could you imagine that? Being the only one to survive? You couldn’t, could you? Because that also meant you would have to endure all the anger, traumatic loss, and guilt. Alone. It was hard. It would forever be hard. Even for Thor.

 

And there was another reason, the one Thor didn’t feel essential enough to tell his teammates.

 

_Only in his sleep, he could see Loki._

 

So he pretty sure he needed the sleep. The _Thorsleep_. And he went for it. He knew his mortal friends still required his assistance. They lost too much now and were in a very vulnerable state. But he had to rest, or else when Thanos came back, or when they found Tony and hunted Thanos down so they could do the revenge thing, he would not be at his best, which would certainly do them no good.

 

That was what he told them and that was quite different from what he told himself.

 

The truth was, humanity needed him, and he was willingly to offer his help. But before that, let he see his _Loki_ first.

 

And just like that, he went into his very first deep sleep. 

 

 

 

_“Loki. I know you’re here. Come out, please.”_

 

That was the first thing he said as he entered his dream. More like an alternative reality.

 

He waited for what seemed like a really long time, waited in the dead silence and for a moment, he thought perhaps he was wrong, Loki was not here.

 

He sighed sadly. There was no way in hell Loki had done that. Loki would not leave like that, dying without leaving Thor a trail to trace after him. But when had he?

 

The mere thought literally scared him out.

 

 _No. No way._ Loki would never do that. He reassured himself and continued to wait patiently, anxiously.

 

He didn’t know how long had passed until a figure came out of nowhere, back hugging him. It formed too slowly yet he had sensed it right at the moment it started.

 

Two arms wrapping around his chest.

 

And then the feeling of a head resting on his shoulder.

 

Then a lean breast pressing on his back. 

 

Then a thin waist.

 

Then a pair of long legs. He must have stood on tiptoe, Thor thought, and he longed for nothing more than to turn around, scoop him up, hugging him tightly.

 

And the warm. An undeniable warm he would give everything up just to forever be encased in it.

 

He had no idea when he had begun to cry and he sure as well had no intention of stopping it. He had hold himself together for so long and awaited this specific moment to see Loki, and to break.

 

Yet he bit his lips, swallowed down the _not so manly_ choke he was making but something like a choke was not easily hidden. His shaking shoulders already gave it all away.

 

And the weirdest and the most heartbreaking thing was Loki still had his face burying in the crook of Thor’s neck, holding onto him firmly.

 

He wanted to weep even more.

 

 _“I’m sorry, brother. I should’ve protected you.”_ He managed to get the words out and it hurt. Oh, it hurt. Really, really hurt.

 

Years ago, when he was still young and foolish, the thought of losing Loki due to his lack in strength never had crossed Thor’s mind. He had been strong, powerful and no one would have dared to touch Loki, to make Loki hurt without Thor beating the crap out of them and he still thought so until _the day_ came. The day when Thanos had beaten the crap out of Thor, killing Loki in front of Thor and Thor, he could do nothing but kneeling on the ground and watch.

 

He lost count of how many times he cursed himself for it.

 

Loki still kept his hands around Thor and then Thor heard he said:

 

_“Shh... Stop crying brother. It’s not like you didn’t see me dead before.”_

 

 _Yeah, right_. It was not like he hadn’t seen Loki dead before. And when did that spare him from crying?

 

He used his palm to wipe the tears away and smiled foolishly at that.

 

_“Yeah, right.”_

 

As though couldn’t stand seeing Thor like this, Loki broke the embrace, telling Thor to turn around and as Thor did, he took Thor’s callous hand in his.

 

The sight of Loki was like a bang to Thor’s heart. He was so beautiful, just like he always had been, contrary to the mess of his death and it made Thor feel even worse he had to raise his hand to strike that silky raven hair to ease the bitterness raising inside his heart. He liked to do that when he was young. Loki liked him doing that when Loki was young.

 

_“Come, brother.”_

 

He dragged Thor with him to a bed, which was just appeared by his brother’s magic.

 

 _“Lie down”_ he told Thor, in such a sweet voice like they had nothing in the world to worry about and Thor obeyed, like he indeed had nothing in the world to worry about. Things didn’t have to be figured out right now, did they?

 

Wasn’t that odd? Lying down to rest even though you were already in your sleep. But the feel of Loki half draping over him was quite soothing.

 

Loki ran a finger down Thor’s firm broad chest.

 

He could see the raise and fall of Loki’s head synced with the raise and fall of his chest. Under it beat his heart.

 

_“How was the battle? Did you win?”_

 

 _“No,”_ He sighed, _“We lost. Half the universe is dead. Can you believe it? I had a chance to kill him and I missed it. Norns.”_

 

_“Hmm... that’s not at all a surprise. You are quite a fool.”_

 

 _“Am I? He told me I should go for the head instead of the heart.”_ Thor confessed.

 

_“Was that because he had stabbed Heimdall in the heart?”_

 

_“Yes. I said he’d pay for that so...”_

 

 _“Always dramatic, brother.”_ Loki chuckled.

 

_“If I was strong enough, I would strangle him. Let him see what it’s like.”_

 

 _“That does sound a lot better.”_ Loki popped up, giving Thor a peck.

 

 _“I wish we had more time.”_ The smile Loki now gave never seemed to touch his eyes, Thor immediately tightened his hold. He wanted Loki to sink into him, be inside him, so they would become one, so Thor and him would be together for forever, so Thor wouldn’t have to suffer living a life without Loki.

 

And as if Loki understood, he pressed his face deeper on the surface of Thor’s chest.

 

 _“I love you.”_ Thor burst out.

 

Loki stunned at that.

 

Norns. _I love you._ He hadn’t said those three words since the day Loki had fallen from the Bifrost. A lot of things had happened after that and now, those three words were burning in his mouth.

 

_“I love you.”_

 

The moment he had seen Loki struggling against Thanos had been the moment of Thor realizing how much he’d loved Loki and how little Thor had been willing to let Loki go. He had known long ago that he loved his brother, but at that moment, crawling to reach Loki’s dead body on an _on fire_  ship, he had bitterly admitted that he had never been more stupid for not saying it out loud, for once.

 

_“I love you.”_

 

_“I love you.”_

 

_“I know. You said it four times already.”_

 

He wanted to say it more but it died the second Loki’s soft lips press against his. Soft. Warm. And tasted like Asgard’s finest mead, the type of mead that got him drunk in about an instant. Oh, how much he had missed this.

 

Thor kissed back without hesitation. His hands cupped Loki’s cheeks to keep him in place and he gave Loki all he had. His lips. His tongue. His teeth. Loki began to make some little noises and somehow Thor managed to treasure every one of it by kissing Loki even fiercer.

 

He only paused when he tasted a strange thing.

 

Salty.

 

Loki’s kiss wasn’t supposed to taste salty.

 

And he opened his eyes to witness a crying Loki and his heart immediately sank for that.

 

 _“Why didn’t you say it sooner?”_ Loki asked.

 

Why hadn’t he said it sooner?

 

_Sooner?_

 

When Thor had gotten back from Earth? Or when Thor had found him on New York?

 

Perhaps both. He should have told Loki _I love you_ when he had gotten back from earth, not censuring him. He should have told Loki _I love you_ when he found Loki on New York, not fighting him. He should have told Loki _I love you_ every time they had been together, whenever he had gotten the chance.

 

Was it too late now?

 

He brought his thumbs to Loki’s face, chased away every signs of tears lingered on it till there was none of it left and looked at his brother’s bright green eyes. The tears had added a little bit of red in it but it still was the most beautiful eyes Thor had ever seen. Thor would be happily to lost his soul in it without any protest.

 

 _“I promise, Loki. I’ll fix it. After I’m done with Thanos, after we’re done with Thanos. I’ll go to you. I’ll go to Hel or wherever it is to bring you back. I can summon the Bifrost now and it’s just a matter of time before we see each other again. Will you wait for me?”_ Thor said.

 

Loki stared at him to see Thor’s eyes had never left his.

 

 _“I will.”_ He said. _I will. I will wait for you. A month. A year. Or even a hundred, a thousand. I’ll wait._

 

And by that, Thor dragged him back to his safest place – beside Thor.

 

_“I love you, too.”_

 

 

***

 

 

When Loki said: _“Kill away”_ , Thor told himself that Loki didn’t really mean it.

 

When Loki yellded: _“Stop”,_ Thor smiled to himself and thought: _See? He does care for me after all._ Even though the pain was literally killing him, his head might be going to burst. Those stones were really serious you shouldn’t mess with it.

 

When Loki gave Thanos the tesseract, Thor said: “You really are the worst brother”. But inside, Thor knew that Loki loved the cube. And Loki had just traded his beloved cube for Thor’s head.

 

When Loki said: _“I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again”_ , Thor had a bad feeling about it. Nothing good came out after people saying these sort of things.

 

When he saw Loki approaching Thanos and vowing to him: _“I, Loki, prince of Asgard, Odinson”_ , Thor already knew something bad was going to happen. From _that day_ , Loki had never considered him a _Son of Odin_.

 

When he saw a dagger forming in Loki's hand, Thor cursed under his breath. He wanted to shout out: _“DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID”,_ but his mouth was being sealed by a peace of iron junk.

 

When Thanos hold Loki up, strangling him, Thor lost his shit. He tried to break the chains, the fucking chains, he wanted to call upon the lighting, to give them a lesson for fucking hurting Loki like that. Yet he was powerless, he could do nothing but watch.

 

_No. No. No. Nooo._

_You are killing him. Let him go._

_Please._

_You are killing him._

_Let him go._

 

When Loki’s body went limb under Thanos’s careless manner, Thor felt like someone had ripped his heart out and torn it apart. Every thing became blurry because of all the tears gathered in his eyes. Some already fell down his cheeks.

 

A lot already fell down his cheeks.

 

And when Thanos tossed Loki to the ground and disappeared with his dogs, when he finally got free from all the chains, he crawled to Loki. The ship was burning around them and he didn’t care.

 

_Loki._

_It’s alright, brother. I’m here with you._

 

_We were raised together._

_We played together._

_We fought together._

_And now we die together._

_I’m here._

 

 

*** 

 

The next time he faced Thanos, Thor would make sure the mad man would be deader than dead, make sure to go for the head.

 

And after that, he would summon the Bifrost, went to Hel or wherever it was which held Loki on it, and bring him back.

 

And after that, the sun would shine on them, forever.

 

 

 


End file.
